Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Nervous Excitement


I'm so excited to be sharing with you that I've heard from the dance studio that I applied for and we are trying to figure out a time for an interview.

I'm SO excited. So nervous. So excited.

I have been out of the dance world for a few years, and I can feel it in every bone in my body. I have lost every ounce of flexibility, most of my leg/ankle strength and probably lots of technique as well. I like to think that its all going to come back and I think most of the technique will (like riding a bike). The flexibility...that's something I had been working on for years and years. The strength...also a product of years of dance. I'm hoping that all that I've ever learned and taught has "stuck" with me so that I can pass it on to others.

Ideally, I would've been keeping up with dance stuff- ie practicing a couple of nightsish a week since I left it a few years ago. That hasn't happened. I've gained lots of weight since I had a heavy teaching schedule, and that very much frightens me. I know that I'm still a very capable teacher, but I feel like its VERY hard for people to take you "seriously" in the dance world when you are overweight. Its odd, because looking back, I had several overweight dance teachers and never really thought twice about it. So maybe, just maybe, I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. I'm going to try to think that. It's a weird little thing...I know that I would/will lose weight if/when I get back into dance BUT I'm scared of getting back into dance (because of what OTHERS may think) because I'm overweight. I think the bottom line is that I need to dance again in some way or another.

Did I mention that the studio that I'm applying at is one of the top 50 in the NATION? Ummm...extra-intimidation.

But I feel reassured by my lovely support system. :) I texted the owner at the studio I used to work for and asked her to be a reference and she said "Sure, but I'm jealous. I want you back here." It was such a nice statement and made me feel like I'm worthy of this.

So...please send me positive energy. :) I'm nervous and excited and nervous and excited. I apologize for not making lots of sense during this post. My emotions are so up and down right now!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

you'll do great everyone loves you and you will be a great teacher again!!

Laura said...

i hope it goes well!!

and, please don't stress about the weight thing. you're a beautiful girl and a beautiful dancer (i'm sure!!!), and that's all that matters.