My favorite shoes

Today was a big day in my life because I put on my favorite shoes after not wearing them for nearly 9 months. They are dance shoes and I wore them when I was teaching ballet and doing barre work. I miss dance so very much. It was such a great creative outlet for me. It was a great physical work out and put me in the best shape of my life (except when I was on swim team, but EW!) It taught me how to lead a group. It helped me feel like I could shine and that I could teach others to be confident in their movement. It taught me how to move my body in such amazing ways. It made me work hard to accomplish different goals, and I'm proud of all I was able to teach myself to do.

Not being near the studio that I used to teach at has been hard for me. I am not at the point where I'm ready to "face another one." Maybe someday, maybe someday soon. I want to lose weight before I even begin to get back into it, because its so hard for me to face the fact that I can't do what I used to be able to do because I've gained weight. Thats why I haven't worn those shoes in 9 months. But today, I faced that fear...and it felt so good. I worked out for probably 20 minutes. I know that doesn't really classify as I work out, but it was a huge deal for me because I came back to something I loved. It wore me out, too. That felt great. I'm honestly hoping that I am so sore tomorrow that I can barely move. I weirdly miss that feeling, because it helps me realize just how hard I worked, and I haven't felt that way in a long time.

I refuse to let 9 more months go by again...

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